365 Days

Sometimes, I tend to drift off into my own little bubble as I’m sure a lot of other people do too but lately, my mind has always been drifting off into the same direction and thinking about the same thing, each and every time. What is that thought, you may ask? It’s how incredible the impact of 365 days can have on someones life. How everything changes in those 365 days and do a complete flip-turn.

This time last year I was at, what I would describe as, my lowest point. The lowest point that I have ever seen or felt myself be in and I felt as though there was no going back. My relationship was breaking down, being in an emotionally abusive relationship was breaking me down, I was dealing with a lot of things personally, and suddenly it all became too much. My brain felt like it was ready to implode and I wasn’t quite sure how I would survive and see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, I didn’t think I would survive.

I used to blog religiously. If you’ve read my ‘About‘ page, then you’ll know that words are and always have been, my first love. I was never caught without a book in my hands, or a pen clutched in one hand. In fact, I’ve won quite a few awards for my poetry as a child, and was lucky enough to have the opportunity to have one published in a book. Anyway, I digress, I used to blog almost every week. My blog was my happy place, and then those 365 days hit. My priorities drifted and I just couldn’t find the motivation anymore. No matter how hard I tried, it just wasn’t there. I knew that I wanted to start my blog up again at some point, so I didn’t completely delete it, I just deleted the posts so that I could start on a fresh slate and here I am, 365 days later. On a clean slate.

These part 365 days have been a complete and utter whirlwind, but as I’ve mentioned before, it’s completely flip-turned from what it used to be. I’m no longer in that dark place anymore, for one. Mainly because, I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and I’m now getting help to deal with my ‘dark place’. I may do a post on that one day, if enough people are interested. I also have an amazing girlfriend, that fills my heart with complete joy each and every day whilst also reminding me of my worth and helping me build up my self esteem in the process. She really is gift from my guardian angel. As well as that, I’m also going to try and get back into exercising again. During my time in the Navy, I used to go to the gym every day but as I slowly began to slip deeper into the shadows of depression, my motivation slipped and as much as I really want to get back into it, I’m still struggling a little but I’m getting there. Everything is a work in progress.

It really is amazing how many things can change in just the short span of 365 days, so here I am. Ready to face these next 365 days and ready to blog again, every step of the journey.

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