Dear Thirteen Year Old Me,
I have good news and bad news. The good news is that we’re happy, the bad news is that we’re still ‘slightly’ weird and that we still feel like an outsider but that’s okay, because that is what makes us.. us.
Every smile, laugh, cry and heartbreak that you have had, that has gone towards creating me and I’m sorry but I wouldn’t change one second of your happiness, nor of your sadness.
But then again, there are some things that I feel like you should know..
Number one. Do not compare yourself to every single girl that you see, because I can guarantee you that every single girl that you’ve compared yourself to, has looked at all the other girls and every single girl that they’ve also laid eyes on.. they have compared themselves to them as well. You are beautiful just the way you are, so don’t ever feel like you have to change that.
Number two. Stop apologising. You don’t have to apologise for the way you look, for the way you walk, for the way you talk, for the way you dress. You do not have to apologise for being you. It’s time for you to accept this. That this is you and you’re going to have to spend the rest of your life as this person, so stop self-hating and start self-caring. Start loving your sarcasm, your quick wit, your loud laugh, your sense of humour, your voice.. because you’re going to have to live with this for the rest of your life and it will make life a whole lot easier for you if you just start loving yourself.
Number three. The bullying will one day end. Granted, it will go on for a few more years but it won’t get as bad as it is for you now. One day, it will be a memory for us. A horrible, horrific nightmare that we just shove to the back of our mind. It will all get easier once you leave school. You will no longer have to be confined to the torture anymore.
I know what thoughts are going through your mind, but don’t end it. Not now, not today, not ever. If you end your life now, then you’ll never get to see where we end up and one day, you will be happy. You just have to hold on that little bit longer. For us.
This letter is to you. The you that’s had a rough week. The you that feels invisible. The you that has lost faith. The you that doesn’t feel like you can hold on for much longer.
You are incredible. Much more than you believe. You have so much potential and so many things left in this world for you to do.
Better things are heading your way so please just hang in there to see them happen. You can do this.
I hope I can make you proud.
Love from me, at eighteen.